Premier League to Appoint Female Referees

The FA have warned Premier League players that, with the introduction of female referees, they may be cautioned for fouls committed years ago that they have totally forgotten about.

Also, in a revolutionary move, a player may now receive tactical direction from the referee on any off-the-ball duties that player has left undone.

And finally, excessive celebrations will come under scrutiny and any player who seems, in the referee’s view, to be putting his own personnel gratification before the strict observance of the rules of the game may be cautioned or dismissed.

Caveat ludio!